A Mother's Love.

Mother in Hawaii

July 4th  of this year, I stayed home and cooked the typical Independence Day food: hamburgers, hotdogs, potato salad, and baked beans. I must say it was delicious. Even though it was a lovely day, and I was enjoying watching  Jamestown on Prime, my heart was heavy. My Mother had been sick since Apri, and she wasn't better. I was sleepy after that big meal, I decided to take a nap. I had a dream about her. 

In the dream, she told me to cook meatloaf for dinner and company was coming over. I told her "It's your turn to cook it. I don't want to." We debated about who should cook it. I imagine had I not woke up, I would have ended up cooking. She loved my meatloaf. When she was in the hospital, I was there with her when they brought in her lunch and it was meatloaf and potatoes. She tried a bite and said, "It's not your meatloaf.." I smiled and encouraged her to eat more.

That July 4th night, while laying in bed , she was on my mind while I tried to read. While reading, my sister Lori messaged me and told me that our brother Mark told her that Mother was no longer responding. I couldn't grasp it. I asked her "As in not talking?" She said, "Yes, she's not responding." I thought, I definitely have to go see her in the morning which I was planning to do. I failed to asleep and my notifications were off. I woked up early and saw a missed phone call from my brother Mark after 1 in the morning. I knew what that call was. He also messaged me with the news. My sweet, beautiful Mother passed away and went to her eternal home in heaven. I broke down and cried. I read the message more than once. I called my sister Kandy and spoke with her. Both of us cried on the phone together. That memory of us talking took me to when I called her to tell her that our Dad had died. We lost both parents in July.

It's been over a month, and I can still have a hard time with her passing. Here's a little bit of what I want to share about my Mother. My Mother was a praying woman who loved God and prayed for all of her 9 children among others everyday I imagine. Even if you don't believe in God or are unsure, you have to admit that someone who prays, speaks blessings or positive words over their love ones is someone who cares deeply for them and loves them. She has them on her mind.

She was an example of not being chained to her pain in the past. She was an overcomer of much and encourager to those who needed it. When I had a certain health issue, I told her I was going to another doctor to for a second opinion. She said, "You're alright. Don't worry about it." I said, "How do you know, it'll be alright ?" She said, "I just do.I have prayed for you about this, and I trust God.". Well, I went to Rome to this other doctor,and he gave me reassuring news that I didn't need to worry about it. Of course I called and told her. Guess what she said? Well, she said, "I told you so."

My Mother loved to read especially books about Amish community and enjoyed going on rides in the country. She enjoyed traveling and visited her children when they lived in other countries. She was very involved in at her church, Greater Christ Temple, which she was a member since 1979. She was involved in the community by volunteering with Hospice as well as at the hospital. She was loved by so many: her children, granchildren, great-grandchildren, her siblings, church family, friends and her best friend Effie Watters.

We are at Greater Christ Temple for service in 2022.

A few years ago, we were talking about my sadness of not being a mother. She said, 'There's women who have given birth and don't have a Mother's heart. You have a Mother's heart. You care for people and love them " That has stayed with me on days that I've needed it. 

Sometimes when she called to talk, she could hear my dogs barking in the background. She knew if it was Jasmine or Simon. She would joked and say, "Jasmine really likes to talk." She defintely was a lot more vocal than Simon. When sweet Jasmine crossed the rainbow bridge back in 2020, she was so sweet, and told me she was so sorry for my loss.

When I would go to Rome and visit her, she always said, "Call me when you get home. I want to know you're home safe.' For the most part, I called her and told when I arrived home. If I didn't she would call me, and say, "I'm just checking on you." 

I miss her calling. I miss picking up the phone just to hear her voice and her asking what I'm having for lunch. I miss her laughter and sometimes being silly with me. I've listened to her voicemails so much in July. .A few nights after her passing, I listened to so many of the voicemails she left me. I cried hard and so many memoories flooded me. I found one where she wished me a Happy Birthday. My Mother loved me, and I'm thaankful I'm her daughter. I'm thankful I knew a Mother's love. Many don't know that. Many crave it. I am better because of her love.

On the day we had her Celebration of Life at Christ Temple, there were so many people there. She would have loved the service. That evenging, I went to dinner with my sister Lori. We went to Harvest Moon Cafe in downtown Rome. We both ordered meatloaf, and I'm pretty sure Mother would have loved it.

If you have your Mother, hug her and call her. Tell her you love her. You can never replace a Mother's love , so cherish your Mother as long as you have her. I will always and forever miss and love my Mother...Gwen Bennett. 

"A Mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's." Princess Diana.